A Different Me...?

A day full of rains! Full of showers !!
Morning filled with innumerable drops. Hovering clouds !
And my day starts ! As usual I am rushing through the morning.
From washroom to the dressing table. From break-fast place to
the bus stop. Nothing seemed to change its course. The time, the
place, the things around me. All there, yet again, yet another day !
And here I am ! Starting yet another day of my life, thinking that
I have become yet another morning old.

Sitting in the bus on my way to the work-place. Looking out of the
window, everything is just rushing around. Everything is moving.
Moving with a cause. Moving with a goal.
Moving with a dream, to become something! To be somewhere !!

A morning seems so fresh. With a renewed or should I say
refurbished look. Forgetting yesterday,
looking forward to the day ahead. Here is yet another morning.
Moving to start the day and the day's things.
And I am on my today's part of the journey, called Life !

It's evening now. I hardly remember a day when I came out of the
work-place and saw the sun still waiting to spend some evening
time playing with the earth. It's always been dark.
It's always been an end of the play without having the sun to witness.

I remember the days, when I used to run, keeping my eyes on
the beautiful red ball in the earth's field, the blue sky.
Used to see the beauty of an evening, feel it. With the zest
bubbling in my blood, I used to run ! I used to play !
I remember. Yes ! I still remember. I used to rejoice.
Rejoice in the beauty of the evening.
Rejoice in the twilight, loosing myself in the colours of life.
In the colours of nature.

But what I thought then ? This is not where I am supposed to be.
This isn't the place. The place where I always wanted to be.
I thought, I was lost. Lost in the silence !

And here I am now. At the same window again,
in the crawling bus. What I see around? People loaded with day's
stresses. Drained by the loads of work.
With all the traffic in the world, hovering around me.
I am moving with an ant's steps.
Back to the place from where I did start.

This is also an evening. Then what has changed?

Where are all the colours gone?
Where is the redness of the mighty sun ?
Where is the golden shade of the twilight ?
Am I on a different planet ?

I am searching. Searching with all my strength.
But I am not able to find. I don't know....

Where is the peace gone ??

Where is the piece gone ???

Escape...!

Break the bond of custom.
From the prison of tradition,
Escape !

Delight not in your weakness.
From this imagined delicacy,
Escape !

From these self conjoured
vows of greatness,
Escape !

It too is bondage.
From love's bondage,
Escape !

Not only the thorn,
The flower too emasculate.

Rise my love !
You have to walk along with me...!!!

I Believe....!!!

Believe in yourself to the depth of your being,
Nourish the talents, your spirit is freeing.

Know in your heart, when the going gets slow,
That your faith in yourself will continue to grow.

Don't forfeit ambition, when others may doubt.
It's your life, to live it throughout.

Learn from your errors. Don't dwell in the past.
Never withdraw from the world that is vast.

Believe in yourself. Find the best, that is YOU !
Let your spirit prevail. Steer the course that is true...!!!

The times now and then....!!!

It was 07/07/07. Some days are really as rare. Not always its necessary to remember some days and moments because there has been something memorable happening at those special times.

Sometimes, times which I really feel the way I am feeling now! Really Alive !! Really happy!!!
Not because something special and extraordinary has happened to me, just a while ago. Its just
feeling or just a state of my heart, so as to say.

When you feel and accept things as they come, enjoy there coming. Enjoy there happening. I think that is the time when we are really alive. Feel like being with LIFE...!

I know there have been innumerable moments in the days that have past, which were moments of joy.
Which were moments of grief. When my heart really felt their happening. My mind was telling me there has been some change in the way I used to be. They made me think, re-think and sometimes act too!
Changed the course of my living, my thoughts. May be those were the moments when I had learnt things, understood them. Those were the times when I was in a state which was driven by my intution. My mind told me and I was doing what was being told.

It was my intellect, my conscience. My present was being driven by experiences in the past. It was like flowing of a river. Touching both the shores without ever making them meet. But the stream though flowing, always had its end going along. Throughout its course! I think those were the times of rivers. Driving the way forward, sometimes washing down the past clear. Sometimes taking it along, as a dearest pal, who will always be close to you. Truely those were the times of rivers...!!!

Its not the life that changed its course. Its you! your own self who changes. Changes into different You. And sometimes just a different state of You. But the crux is it should always be 'You'. That is when life will seem as the dearest pal. Will be there for you as your companion. Through the times of grief and in the moments of elation.

Moving on is what life konws, her only law. Whether to move on with her or you choose to stop is your descrition. Its always your choice. If you stop life won't stop for you. It's only you who will be standstill, who will be at an hiatus. And may be that is what means 'Death', in life's dictionary.

But if you choose to move on, come what may! There will not be a better companion than life itself. She will be there for you every moment. You need to just think of her. And Hey....! you will always find her waiting for you to come along, just around the corner !!

There are days when you will really feel life's presence. The times which neither bring joy nor the gruesome feeling of sorrow. They are just too materialistic for her to make us feel her presence. Life never needs instruments or media to be with us. She is always there. You just need to feel her. Fill youself with her. In the moments when there is nothing special to tell about. Nothing happening so different that it will be a memory forever. Neither it is changing your course of actions. It really has nothing to be noted as such. But it fills you! It really overwhelms your - self !! These are the moments when you are following your heart. Acting the way you never used to, when you thought so much before acting upon something.

These are the moments, really different ones. The moment itself is different and not the things happening in those moments. That is the time when you are with your dearest ever buddy. Your life...!!!
She has always been with you till now and will be there for you in the times to come. Its just you who will decide to feel her. To fill yourself with Life....!!!

These are the moments when you and your actions never bother about the world around. It's just the things coming out of your heart and happening, as easily as you blink your eyes. Unknowingly.....! The moments which never had any bound, never had shores along. These are the moments when you are life and life is You! The moments as carefree as the wave in an ocean. Sometimes just rolling on the sand and sometimes blowing off everything in its way...... Unknowingly...??? Oh.. Yes...!!! without any predudice. Wthout looking at past. These are the moments... moments unbound....!!!

And you know what life tells me in these unbound moments...? It says in my ears, in a soft and loving voice,

"Those were the times of Rivers.....!!
And these are the times of seas......!!

And I say to her aloud.....as loud as I can be;

"Oh.....Yes...!!!
These are the times of seas........!!!!!!
These are the times of seas........!!!!!!

Relations.....???

Relations.....???

I sometimes think that we have made a lot of realations,
but I never think how ?

But its true that realations are just formed and not made always.

May be because of that only, they are so pure and so innocent.

Some people in my life have been so caring and relations so pampering
and easy that I would have never imagined.

Some people came in my life very silently....I dont even remember
the day when we met... but now life or even a day without talks
becomes so barron.....so lonely....!!!

We may not have been together for a long time but I know it has been
never better than this.... so caring so pure and so true...
I know it will always reamain so.

Some people came in my life at so later stages of life but I feel that
life without them will not be life at all.

I never tried to think what magic is there in that realation...
But it always dominated..... and will till eternity.

And I think thats what life is .... all about relations.....isn't it???
All about caring and giving....never expecting anything, though needed....
Because I am always assured by the realation that it will never do bad to me.....

Sometimes I do the mistake of imagining my life without all
those near and dear ones...... though very few poeple are so
close but they matter LIFE... yes!!! life ... for me.

I can't ever think of my life which will be so solitary without all
those people around.

But sometimes the negative side takes over my mind.....
And makes me think of the distances ..... think of parting....
and the solitude it will follow......

Its really a gruesome feeling ... that I will never be able to handle
When I cant even think of it....how will I be albe to face it.?

Rather God should never take me in that situation.....I bow my Lord...!!!

I am ready to do anything to maintain them for ever and ever....
till the end of this universe...... till eternity...till end of me...!!!

Because these realtions mean life for me.........!!!

Once it so happened.... May be that was really a hard day for me.

The day of parting....!!!

The ghastly time never ended....the moment was so long...
so caring .... so dear to me....

You know..! when somebody cries when you are parting from them
It just takes away a part of your heart.....
I felt that somebody ... somebody in that bad time is taking
everything out of my life... all the happiness.... all the caring

The tears rolling down the chicks were so pure .....that it relfected
light.....

The world around which was so beautiful till that time
turned so hostile and solitary in one moment....

And I am forced to think why should such moments come in somebody's life????
Why??/

But I never found the answer......
But I think the joy of being together is everything that you will
ever need to be happy ... for ever and ever.

The life is that one moment....just one moment....
The moment when somebody leans on ur shoulders.......taking it
as the best support she will ever find in this universe.

And I am ready to sacrifice even my whole life for this one
moment... because there is nothing beyond that one moment.....!!!

There is nothing more beautiful than that touch.
Nothing so pure as that tear....
Nothing so warm than that pure hug...
Nothing so deep than the feeling which just penetrates your heart.
Nothing so piercing than that look which is saying why this moment
has come ... why there sould be something like parting....??/


Why there should be something like solitude???

Why there should be such a great loss .....???
so unbearable...!!!
So hurting.....!!!

So close but so far away...!!!

Why.... My dear!!!......Why???

The Star....!!!

Some things never change.......but some has to be changed.

Some times I will never forget...... but some need to be forgot.

Some things I can't accept...... but some need to be accepted.

Some results can't fall in my hands....... but some need to fall.

Somebody will always be there for me....... but I can not dream of "somebody" being there for me, forever and ever.


After all, Life is a River, ever changing, ever flowing, but in the depths; never changing,
very calm...!
Making you what you are, Yes...! What you really are...!!

Life has taken many turns of fortune and misfortune too.

I have seen beautiful blooming gardens,
and have walked through barren lands with harsh sun trying to burn out everything I had.

But...... I ..............was walking....!!!

Sometimes, I lost myself in the mirths of fortune, never thought of things around then....and
why should I.
And some times came, tears of misfortune rolled down my chicks, I thought these
have come out of my eyes just to assure me that, however harsh may be the Sun;
things inside Me will always try to sooth me.

Assured me....Just believe in.......Myself...!!!

I still am continuing the same journey.......trying to enjoy every moment of it.
I know some roads will come; full of fragrance, and some full of thorns, but the only
thing I know is to Walk......Walk....and ...Walk .....forever...!!!

A time will come when, it will so happen that.......
I can see...... "The Star" shining, just too bright to look at it.

But I can see the road...!
I know of the hurdles that are lying between Me and Him.
But there is nothing so alluring, so enticing, driving me so fast........calling me.....!!!

Yes.....!!!
I know, I am assured by the omens on my way, that a day will come.........
Yes! the day.....
The One...I have lived for.
The One ... I have died for...!!!

Yes...!!!
I can see that day waiting for me......I can see Myself shining, too bright to look at it....!

I can see "The Star".......
With eyes tightly shut......!!!
With eyes wide open.....!!!

The Game Called … Life…!!!

A change, a transformation, new places, new people, new avenues and a new start!

But a start will not always mean an end of something. Some things in life are endless. They are so vast, that we have been looking at them for so long, but they never seemed to have an end.

Take life itself, and ocean of experiences. So deep that sometimes I loose myself in it. But your life never denies being yours. It will always be on your side, wherever you may be, whatever you are! It will always extend a helping hand; will always pat on your back when you are feeling low. It will always rejoice in the time of your success, being always yours.

But then sometimes why it so happens that I feel so dejected? So low??

May be our life wants us to learn new things, have new experiences. Life always wants us to be strong. And being strong brings with it a lot of difficulties. Or else why there would have been definition of strength, without having difficulties to come over?

Life implies change; change meaning new experiences experiences are those difficulties that make you stronger. Rather I should say, “They have made us what we are!” I am, my experiences! My strength lies in what I have seen, where I have been and most importantly, what I have been!

Life has always pointed out to the law of attraction. “Good attracts good” and needless to say bad will always turn out in something bad.

Life is an ocean, boundless; never ending but always changing. Till now whatever share of life I had, whatever ride I had on the waves in the ocean of life, I have it with me. And I have decided to explore its every new corner. All possible depths. While doing so, I will never long for a boat to be my savior, nor I will long for gems on my way.

I will enjoy every moment of it; let it be good, bad or ugly. Remember the law of attraction? May be whatever is coming my way is a resultant of my past. Nobody is the culprit…!

In the game of life, there are only two players, my life and I. Nobody is an opponent. It’s all up to you to win or to loose, to play or to rest!

But one thing is for sure, more you play, larger is your share. Life is in moments, treasure every single moment, who knows it will never come back.

And who knows when the game will end…..!!!